The Middle can be marvellous
May 18, 2023
The Middle can be marvellous from Head of Middle School Mrs Jaye Ross
Many parents would be aware of the warnings about the early years of adolescence.
We are told these are the years where hormones go crazy and there are big mood swings, but in my experience as the Head of Middle School at Fairholme, it is also a time of excitement because it is when they start to change from children into the young adults they are going to become.
They begin to realise what is important to them, and they think about who they want to be and what is worth spending their time on and it is when they decide which parts of themselves they are willing to leave behind in childhood.
It is probably when they will first fight for something they believe in and it is when they will first be devastated by a relationship breakdown with friends or family members.
In short, they are challenging years but the challenge is worth it because out of these years comes the young adult version of themselves and that is an
marvellous time to be a part of someone’s life whether that is as a parent or other family member or as a teacher.
So, how do you enjoy and make the most out of your daughter’s years in the Middle and how can you support her so she learns to make safe and healthy decisions for herself?
Here are a few tips I’ve picked up over the years:
- Put boundaries in place for their social media use and screen time but allow these to stretch slowly each year as they grow towards the ages of 16 or 17. Start as tight as you can manage when they first receive a phone and make decisions together about how each year these restraints can be slowly lifted as they mature and are more able to manage their own time on technology.
- Stay involved in sport and hobbies and show an interest in what they are interested in. Keeping them busy and engaged with others helps them to stay connected and able to continue to build connections with their school and peers.
- Keep your praise focused on their efforts and commitment to things rather than about their actual results or success. This is true for academic results as well as their success in Sport or The Arts. This helps to curb any tendencies towards perfectionism and also decreases their stress levels and anxiety about having to succeed to please their parents (or teachers).
- Try really hard not to solve all their problems for them or to rush in to make their path easier. When parents take control of a situation, the message the child receives is that their parent thinks they can’t manage it on their own and aren’t capable of solving the concern. Try to give suggestions for ways they might tackle the challenge without stepping in and doing it for them. The amount of learning they get and the sense of achievement they feel when they succeed in solving a problem is enormous – resist robbing them of this opportunity.
- Give them responsibilities at home. This helps them learn that we all contribute to looking after ourselves and the home we live in and that this job does not just fall to the adults. Even when they are busy studying and working, adolescents need to learn skills like cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, mowing, washing the car etc. They will soon be doing these things after school finishes and it will help them enormously if they are already used to these responsibilities.
- Encourage them to do regular study, homework and revision and make sure there is time in their schedule. Although sport and hobbies are important, it is always more important to ensure they have a focus on learning. Show an interest in what they are doing and offer to read over assignments but resist taking the pen in your own hand to make significant changes. If you give too much input you will send them a message that you think they can’t do the work.
- Keep them reading! Suggest books for them and buy books for them. Read books yourself that you think they might like and then pass them onto them. It is so important for mental health but also their literacy development.
- Keep them exercising and eating a balanced diet. Make sure the focus is on their physical and mental health and not about their weight or appearance.
- Prioritise time at school. Make every effort for them to be at school every single day that school is on. Every aspect of school is important including sports carnivals and choral competitions and last days of school. These sorts of events are golden opportunities for your child to feel a part of their wider school community and to connect with their peers and teachers. Every lesson has learning in it and so try hard to only book family trips in the holidays and minimise appointments during school time. At this age, school is your daughter’s job and you’re probably hoping that she will have a strong work ethic and understands the importance of fulfilling responsibilities – attending school every day will help her to learn this approach to her adult studies and work places.
- Encourage their friendships by asking their friends over to your home as often as you can on weekends and holidays. Having solid relationships with her peers will help her self-confidence and so do your bit to give her opportunities to solidify these friendships by spending time together outside school. Weekends and holidays are busy times for families but make sure there is time with friends in the mix.
- Encourage her to spend time with extended family. Having strong bonds with people you trust will help her when your relationship with her is strained.
- Above all, tell your daughter that you love her just as she is including all her amazing strengths and also her weaknesses.
Enjoy the years your daughter spends in the Middle School. These years can be absolutely marvellous!
More News
Fairholme College is delighted to welcome Mr Mitch Koina as our new Coordinator of High Performance Coaching. Bringing more than a decade of experience across diverse educational settings, Mitch joins the community with a strong commitment to student wellbeing, participation, and performance. ‘This is my 12th year of teaching,’ Mitch shares. ‘I’ve done a range of different contexts now, I did two years down at Lockyer District High School, I then spent six years at St Mary’s College before moving to St Josephs, where I’ve been for the last three years. Now obviously I’ve made my way over to Fairholme which I’m really excited about.’ It was both the College’s reputation and the scope of the role that drew Mitch to Fairholme. ‘Fairholme is a very prestigious college, it’s got a great name and reputation,’ he said. ‘The role itself is really exciting for me. I’ve got a passion for fitness and particularly looking after the wellbeing of young girls, whether that be on the sporting field or with their social aspect, academics, just all round developing good girls on and off the court.’ A strong advocate for pastoral care, Mitch brings valuable leadership experience to the position. ‘I did a Head of House role at St Mary’s for three and a half years, so pastoral care has always been my calling so it’s great to tie in the sporting aspect as well as wellbeing,’ he explained. His philosophy centres on the connection between student wellbeing and performance. ‘It’s all dependant on each other. If we’ve got girls who are happy and their wellbeing is flourishing, then they are doing well on the sporting field and vice versa too.’ Looking ahead, Mitch is focused on building both excellence and enjoyment within the program. ‘I would love to get participation rates very high. We have a lot of elite athletes here that I want to achieve and do really well, but I also want to work on girls enjoying their training, coming in and having a nice vibe around the sporting field and the training.’ Importantly, Mitch emphasises that success looks different for every student. ‘We’re not all Australian representatives, but if girls are working really hard and achieving to the best of their potential, whatever level that may be in the sporting arena, I think that’s a program we can be very proud of.’ As he begins his journey at Fairholme, Mitch is eager to connect with the community. ‘I’m really excited to be a part of Fairholme, it is a great opportunity. The staff and the students have been fantastic to me so far, but as the weeks go on, I’m really looking forward to getting to know the girls and building some relationships from there.’ We warmly welcome Mitch to Fairholme and look forward to the energy, care, and expertise he will bring to our High Performance Sports program.
What inspired you to apply for the Prefect for Sport position? I was inspired to go for this position as I have seen the passion that Fairholme as a community has for sport, and the true love and respect the staff have for athletes at the college. I wanted to work closely with the girls and staff to help progressing sport at Fairholme. Do you have a favourite sport? My favourite sport is touch football. It has given me so very much and I am forever grateful. What has been your proudest sporting moment so far? My proudest sporting moment so far was being fortunate enough to represent my country in the sport I love most. Who has been your biggest influence or role model in sport? My biggest role model in sport has to my parents. They never fail to push me towards things that might seem out of my comfort zone or scary. They constantly support me through everything and influence me to be the best version of myself on and off the field. What are you hoping to achieve this year as Prefect for Sport? I aim to inspire everyone to just have a go. By the end of my final year at Fairholme I hope I can inspire people to just get o ut of their comfort zones and try something new. What advice would you give your Year 7 self? I would tell my Year 7 self that in the big picture no one is going to judge you for trying your hardest and giving things ago! And not to put too much pressure on yourself! Do you hope to pursue sport after school? I wish to continue to play sport at a high level after school. whether that is through touch or rugby. Sport is a very important part of my life that will hopefully continue well after I leave school.
How long have you been involved in The Arts at Fairholme? Since I began here in Year 7, but before then I started playing piano and violin in Year 5. I have participated in a number of ensembles within the school and greatly enjoyed each of these. What does being the Prefect for The Arts mean to you? Personally, I think that being the Prefect for The Arts is primarily a role in which I can help to support other girls. I’m a designated person that girls can come to if they have any questions or concerns with anything regarding extracurricular artistic involvement, and I do a little to help with running some of the artistic aspects around the school, such as finding girls to volunteer for busking at events. But mostly, I think it is about being a positive promoter for the arts, and encouraging other girls to expand their world view to include creativity. Which art form do you enjoy most (e.g. music, drama, visual art, dance etc)? My main art form that I participate in is instrumental music, through my involvement in a few ensembles within the school on violin and piano. However, other art forms, like dancing during March Pasts or singing Shine Jesus Shine are pretty fun too. Do you have a most memorable Arts experience? I think that one of the most memorable Arts experiences that I have had has been at events where I have accompanied my grade, like when all the Year 11’s last year sung at the Valedictorian dinner and I played piano along with other instrumentalists in my grade, Tilly Anderson and Emma Salter. However, I think the most enjoyable Arts experience that I have had is playing Jingle Bell Rock at the boarding Christmas dinner last year, when the rest of my cohort stood around the piano singing. I felt that this was one of those excellent examples of how music can bring people together. What advice would you give to students who might be nervous about joining an arts activity? I would say that it is always worth giving something new a go. You’re much more likely to regret the chances you never took than the ones you do. I’m a strong believer that being involved in any form of extra-curricular activity is so beneficial for everyone; it expands your world view, you meet new people, and get outside your comfort zone. Each individual has something they are good at, and how are you going to find out what that is if you don’t try? Do you hope to continue with The Arts after school? Definitely. It has become such a big part of my life, and I honestly get so much enjoyment out of it. The great thing about the arts is that they are things that you can do at any time of your life. You’re never too old, that’s a skill you have for life. Other people can also get so much enjoyment out of the artistic abilities of others. Who doesn’t love to have someone who can sit around the camp-fire and play guitar, or create a beautiful piece of artwork?
More News…
Fairholme College is delighted to welcome Mr Mitch Koina as our new Coordinator of High Performance Coaching. Bringing more than a decade of experience across diverse educational settings, Mitch joins the community with a strong commitment to student wellbeing, participation, and performance. ‘This is my 12th year of teaching,’ Mitch shares. ‘I’ve done a range of different contexts now, I did two years down at Lockyer District High School, I then spent six years at St Mary’s College before moving to St Josephs, where I’ve been for the last three years. Now obviously I’ve made my way over to Fairholme which I’m really excited about.’ It was both the College’s reputation and the scope of the role that drew Mitch to Fairholme. ‘Fairholme is a very prestigious college, it’s got a great name and reputation,’ he said. ‘The role itself is really exciting for me. I’ve got a passion for fitness and particularly looking after the wellbeing of young girls, whether that be on the sporting field or with their social aspect, academics, just all round developing good girls on and off the court.’ A strong advocate for pastoral care, Mitch brings valuable leadership experience to the position. ‘I did a Head of House role at St Mary’s for three and a half years, so pastoral care has always been my calling so it’s great to tie in the sporting aspect as well as wellbeing,’ he explained. His philosophy centres on the connection between student wellbeing and performance. ‘It’s all dependant on each other. If we’ve got girls who are happy and their wellbeing is flourishing, then they are doing well on the sporting field and vice versa too.’ Looking ahead, Mitch is focused on building both excellence and enjoyment within the program. ‘I would love to get participation rates very high. We have a lot of elite athletes here that I want to achieve and do really well, but I also want to work on girls enjoying their training, coming in and having a nice vibe around the sporting field and the training.’ Importantly, Mitch emphasises that success looks different for every student. ‘We’re not all Australian representatives, but if girls are working really hard and achieving to the best of their potential, whatever level that may be in the sporting arena, I think that’s a program we can be very proud of.’ As he begins his journey at Fairholme, Mitch is eager to connect with the community. ‘I’m really excited to be a part of Fairholme, it is a great opportunity. The staff and the students have been fantastic to me so far, but as the weeks go on, I’m really looking forward to getting to know the girls and building some relationships from there.’ We warmly welcome Mitch to Fairholme and look forward to the energy, care, and expertise he will bring to our High Performance Sports program.
What inspired you to apply for the Prefect for Sport position? I was inspired to go for this position as I have seen the passion that Fairholme as a community has for sport, and the true love and respect the staff have for athletes at the college. I wanted to work closely with the girls and staff to help progressing sport at Fairholme. Do you have a favourite sport? My favourite sport is touch football. It has given me so very much and I am forever grateful. What has been your proudest sporting moment so far? My proudest sporting moment so far was being fortunate enough to represent my country in the sport I love most. Who has been your biggest influence or role model in sport? My biggest role model in sport has to my parents. They never fail to push me towards things that might seem out of my comfort zone or scary. They constantly support me through everything and influence me to be the best version of myself on and off the field. What are you hoping to achieve this year as Prefect for Sport? I aim to inspire everyone to just have a go. By the end of my final year at Fairholme I hope I can inspire people to just get o ut of their comfort zones and try something new. What advice would you give your Year 7 self? I would tell my Year 7 self that in the big picture no one is going to judge you for trying your hardest and giving things ago! And not to put too much pressure on yourself! Do you hope to pursue sport after school? I wish to continue to play sport at a high level after school. whether that is through touch or rugby. Sport is a very important part of my life that will hopefully continue well after I leave school.
How long have you been involved in The Arts at Fairholme? Since I began here in Year 7, but before then I started playing piano and violin in Year 5. I have participated in a number of ensembles within the school and greatly enjoyed each of these. What does being the Prefect for The Arts mean to you? Personally, I think that being the Prefect for The Arts is primarily a role in which I can help to support other girls. I’m a designated person that girls can come to if they have any questions or concerns with anything regarding extracurricular artistic involvement, and I do a little to help with running some of the artistic aspects around the school, such as finding girls to volunteer for busking at events. But mostly, I think it is about being a positive promoter for the arts, and encouraging other girls to expand their world view to include creativity. Which art form do you enjoy most (e.g. music, drama, visual art, dance etc)? My main art form that I participate in is instrumental music, through my involvement in a few ensembles within the school on violin and piano. However, other art forms, like dancing during March Pasts or singing Shine Jesus Shine are pretty fun too. Do you have a most memorable Arts experience? I think that one of the most memorable Arts experiences that I have had has been at events where I have accompanied my grade, like when all the Year 11’s last year sung at the Valedictorian dinner and I played piano along with other instrumentalists in my grade, Tilly Anderson and Emma Salter. However, I think the most enjoyable Arts experience that I have had is playing Jingle Bell Rock at the boarding Christmas dinner last year, when the rest of my cohort stood around the piano singing. I felt that this was one of those excellent examples of how music can bring people together. What advice would you give to students who might be nervous about joining an arts activity? I would say that it is always worth giving something new a go. You’re much more likely to regret the chances you never took than the ones you do. I’m a strong believer that being involved in any form of extra-curricular activity is so beneficial for everyone; it expands your world view, you meet new people, and get outside your comfort zone. Each individual has something they are good at, and how are you going to find out what that is if you don’t try? Do you hope to continue with The Arts after school? Definitely. It has become such a big part of my life, and I honestly get so much enjoyment out of it. The great thing about the arts is that they are things that you can do at any time of your life. You’re never too old, that’s a skill you have for life. Other people can also get so much enjoyment out of the artistic abilities of others. Who doesn’t love to have someone who can sit around the camp-fire and play guitar, or create a beautiful piece of artwork?
