Never Grow Up (a nod to Taylor)

October 24, 2024

“There is too much ahead to be always looking back, or to be held captive in the past.” - Dr Linda Evans

I’m watching on, as this cohort of Year 12 parents face the ultimate challenge of letting go. There is no criticism here, I am walking a tumultuous season too – my own confronting detachment from Fairholme and all that goes with that.


Paediatrician and author, Kenneth Ginsburg, in an article written more than a decade ago entitled ‘Letting Go: The Greatest Challenge of Parenting Teens’ says that “holding on tight feels good, but letting go expresses love” (2011). Taylor Swift’s song “Never Grow Up” speaks to the reality that, at this time of imminent change for Year 12s, we may find ourselves as parents, wishing to return to the halcyon moments of a raising a small child.


This wish is juxtaposed cruelly against the stark reality of releasing emerging adults into a future we can’t, shouldn’t or won’t be able to control.


It is the season of “one mores” – wishing for one more moment that we can capture, preserve, and never detach from; after all, in many ways, it is the season of grieving. At Spring Fair, I was blessed with the opportunity to retrace some Fairholme footsteps with some of the class of 2014. For more than an hour we sat in G25, where I had taught some of these young women in Year 12 English, along with my colleague Mrs Cathy Mason.


They were bemused that I could recall where they sat each lesson, who they sat next to – this is a teacher’s privilege for a short time in the life of a student. For parents, this is a lifetime privilege … you are your child’s first, enduring and most influential teacher.


Thus, if the refrain “never grow up” features in your personal narrative at this moment, it is no surprise. Your investment in your daughter’s future has been and is immeasurable.


What I heard and saw in that time with these impressive young women was the power of connection, the ability to reminisce but also the ability to step back quickly into the now. We need both skills. We can take photos of our childhood room as Taylor Swift suggests but only “in our mind” because we can’t stay there, too frightened to leave.


As parents, we can’t hold on either, even if doing so, feels safe. Take heart, that a decade on, these young women are strong, independent but connected, and deliciously hopeful about their futures. I can’t tell you how precious it was to see and hear that – this is what we all want a Fairholme education to be founded upon.


Because we do know that the world beyond the gates of Wirra Wirra Street may deliver a different picture than the one envisaged, and the script that has been so carefully penned may need some readjustments. The choices that have been clear as a seventeen-year-old dressed in tartan may become less apparent in the throng of fellow school-leavers, all with their eyes focused on the future.


Faltering is a human response to significant change. Disappointment is probably unavoidable and freedom sometimes fraught, even briefly, with the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is also a time when we may miss out on the goal, dream, or prize we have strived for – and that is OK because new goals will emerge, sometimes yielding much greater rewards.


We learn as much from missing out at times, as we do from gaining. Quite publicly many, many years ago I said on an Assembly: ‘winning can be a terrible thing’. I meant to say ‘losing can be a terrible thing’ but I’m glad I made the error. I’ve come to appreciate that winning can be a terrible

thing when we forget that its sweetness is gained through previous losses, through the near-wins we’ve endured, through determination and perseverance – all those wonderful life qualities.


How easy, at this bittersweet time filled with the paradox of readiness to go and fearfulness to let go, to forget to acknowledge and celebrate the convolutions of life that lead to the completion of Year 12. It is an achievement for families, for teachers and always, for the girls themselves.


A lot occurs between the cute kindergarten child who clings to mum or dad on their first day ‘alone’ and the confident school-leaver who departs Fairholme; ready and not so ready to embrace the world beyond. A lot. A lot of joys and a lot of disappointments. A lot of learning for us all. Parenting is actually a constant process of “letting go”, after all, our one job, is to ensure that our children are able to stand independent of us, particularly in the toughest of seasons.


May we continue to enjoy what has passed, the images of childhood, the complexities of adolescence but look forward to a hope-filled future – just as I saw in that group of fabulous young women from the cohort of 2014.


Never grow up? I think not, Taylor. There is too much ahead, to be always looking back, or to be held captive in the past.


Holding on tight feels good but letting go expresses love. (Ginsburg, 2011)


Dr Linda Evans | Principal


Reference

Ginsburg, K. (2011). ‘Letting Go: The Greatest Challenge of Parenting Teens’. Psychology Today.

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The Heart of a Swimmer: Mia Geise

By Sarah Richardson • June 20, 2025
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By Sarah Richardson • June 20, 2025
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In Principal | Coming Holme

By Sarah Richardson • June 20, 2025
As a regional centre, Toowoomba has long been known for its charm, heritage and lifestyle – but in recent years, it has also become one of Queensland’s most exciting and dynamic growth corridors. After listening to demographer, Simon Kuestenmacher, recently, Toowoomba has a growing importance as Australia’s second largest regional hub, reflected by both population growth and economic data. For families choosing to live and educate their children in this region, there is much to celebrate – and a great reason to be optimistic about the future. Over recent weeks, I had the great honour of attending the ICPA (Isolated Children’s Parens’ Association) State Conference in St George – an inspiring gathering of parents, educators and community leaders passionate about ensuring equity in education for rural and remote students. What struck me most was the deep commitment to connection – to building strong pathways for children no matter where they live, and to strengthening the regions that sustain them. This theme could not be more relevant. Our city continues to experience significant population growth, attracting families not only from metropolitan areas but also from across Northern New South Wales. As the gateway to the Darling Downs and the south-west, Toowoomba services a vast catchment and this demand is driving impressive investment in infrastructure and opportunity, particularly in the health sector. Healthcare is currently the largest employer in the Toowoomba region, accounting for one in every five local jobs. That’s 20% of our regional workforce engaged in caring for others (Toowoomba Regional Council Economic Profile, 2023/4). This is only growing. With the new Toowoomba Hospital on the horizon (Queensland Government Darling Downs Health, 2025) and an ever-increasing demand to service areas throughout Queensland and Northern New South Wales, the need for dedicated, well-trained health professional has never been more urgent. And yet, as health services expand, there is a growing shortage o f workers – particularly in nursing, allied health, mental health and aged care. The good news is that regional students who study and train locally are far more likely to stay, live and work in those same communities (Regional Universities Network, NA). They – the young women in our classrooms now – are the future of our region. That is why I am so proud of the work happening in our College’s Health Hub. This innovative space is more than just a classroom – it is a launch pad. It’s where curiosity meets compassion and where students begin to imagine how they might make a positive impact. In 2024, Health was the single largest study area for our students – a strong sign that our young women are listening to the needs of their community and leaning into service. Our partnership program with Mater Education and on-the job options with STATIM Regional Health Solutions is already providing students with real work learning opportunities and micro credentialling to give them a head start with their future pathways. I recently received one of the loveliest letters I have e ver received in my time as an educator, from a grateful son whose mother had been provided care by one of our girls during work experience. He shared that ‘although this student’s genuine kindness is exceptional to our mind, I have no doubt that it is indicative of the values that are instilled in your Fairholme students more generally.’ With over a dozen of our current Year 12 girls eagerly preparing to sit their medical entry exams through UCAT preparations, this touching tribute to our students and staff could not be more fitting. With a rapidly changing world, there is no doubt that health remains one of the most stable and essential sectors – both now and into the future. But more than that, it is a deeply human profession. Whether our graduates go on to become doctors, nurses, paramedics, allied health professionals or researchers, we know they will be making an impact that matters. Toowoomba is not just growing - it is thriving. And as educators, we are excited to be helping shape a generation who will contribute meaningfully to that growth. Our College is proud to stand at the intersection of education, innovation and community service. To each of our families - thank you. Thank you for the sacrifices you make, the values you instil and the trust you place in us. The ICPA reminded me once again of the strength that exists in our rural and regional families - and of how important it is that our schools honour that strength with opportunity. The future looks bright – and I have every confidence it will be even brighter with our graduates at the helm. Have a restful break and I look forward to seeing you and your daughters back for an exciting and inspiring second semester. Dr Leigh Hobart Principal
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