Never Grow Up (a nod to Taylor)

October 24, 2024

“There is too much ahead to be always looking back, or to be held captive in the past.” - Dr Linda Evans

I’m watching on, as this cohort of Year 12 parents face the ultimate challenge of letting go. There is no criticism here, I am walking a tumultuous season too – my own confronting detachment from Fairholme and all that goes with that.


Paediatrician and author, Kenneth Ginsburg, in an article written more than a decade ago entitled ‘Letting Go: The Greatest Challenge of Parenting Teens’ says that “holding on tight feels good, but letting go expresses love” (2011). Taylor Swift’s song “Never Grow Up” speaks to the reality that, at this time of imminent change for Year 12s, we may find ourselves as parents, wishing to return to the halcyon moments of a raising a small child.


This wish is juxtaposed cruelly against the stark reality of releasing emerging adults into a future we can’t, shouldn’t or won’t be able to control.


It is the season of “one mores” – wishing for one more moment that we can capture, preserve, and never detach from; after all, in many ways, it is the season of grieving. At Spring Fair, I was blessed with the opportunity to retrace some Fairholme footsteps with some of the class of 2014. For more than an hour we sat in G25, where I had taught some of these young women in Year 12 English, along with my colleague Mrs Cathy Mason.


They were bemused that I could recall where they sat each lesson, who they sat next to – this is a teacher’s privilege for a short time in the life of a student. For parents, this is a lifetime privilege … you are your child’s first, enduring and most influential teacher.


Thus, if the refrain “never grow up” features in your personal narrative at this moment, it is no surprise. Your investment in your daughter’s future has been and is immeasurable.


What I heard and saw in that time with these impressive young women was the power of connection, the ability to reminisce but also the ability to step back quickly into the now. We need both skills. We can take photos of our childhood room as Taylor Swift suggests but only “in our mind” because we can’t stay there, too frightened to leave.


As parents, we can’t hold on either, even if doing so, feels safe. Take heart, that a decade on, these young women are strong, independent but connected, and deliciously hopeful about their futures. I can’t tell you how precious it was to see and hear that – this is what we all want a Fairholme education to be founded upon.


Because we do know that the world beyond the gates of Wirra Wirra Street may deliver a different picture than the one envisaged, and the script that has been so carefully penned may need some readjustments. The choices that have been clear as a seventeen-year-old dressed in tartan may become less apparent in the throng of fellow school-leavers, all with their eyes focused on the future.


Faltering is a human response to significant change. Disappointment is probably unavoidable and freedom sometimes fraught, even briefly, with the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is also a time when we may miss out on the goal, dream, or prize we have strived for – and that is OK because new goals will emerge, sometimes yielding much greater rewards.


We learn as much from missing out at times, as we do from gaining. Quite publicly many, many years ago I said on an Assembly: ‘winning can be a terrible thing’. I meant to say ‘losing can be a terrible thing’ but I’m glad I made the error. I’ve come to appreciate that winning can be a terrible

thing when we forget that its sweetness is gained through previous losses, through the near-wins we’ve endured, through determination and perseverance – all those wonderful life qualities.


How easy, at this bittersweet time filled with the paradox of readiness to go and fearfulness to let go, to forget to acknowledge and celebrate the convolutions of life that lead to the completion of Year 12. It is an achievement for families, for teachers and always, for the girls themselves.


A lot occurs between the cute kindergarten child who clings to mum or dad on their first day ‘alone’ and the confident school-leaver who departs Fairholme; ready and not so ready to embrace the world beyond. A lot. A lot of joys and a lot of disappointments. A lot of learning for us all. Parenting is actually a constant process of “letting go”, after all, our one job, is to ensure that our children are able to stand independent of us, particularly in the toughest of seasons.


May we continue to enjoy what has passed, the images of childhood, the complexities of adolescence but look forward to a hope-filled future – just as I saw in that group of fabulous young women from the cohort of 2014.


Never grow up? I think not, Taylor. There is too much ahead, to be always looking back, or to be held captive in the past.


Holding on tight feels good but letting go expresses love. (Ginsburg, 2011)


Dr Linda Evans | Principal


Reference

Ginsburg, K. (2011). ‘Letting Go: The Greatest Challenge of Parenting Teens’. Psychology Today.

More News…

Meet our Coordinator of High Performance Coaching

March 4, 2026
Fairholme College is delighted to welcome Mr Mitch Koina as our new Coordinator of High Performance Coaching. Bringing more than a decade of experience across diverse educational settings, Mitch joins the community with a strong commitment to student wellbeing, participation, and performance. ‘This is my 12th year of teaching,’ Mitch shares. ‘I’ve done a range of different contexts now, I did two years down at Lockyer District High School, I then spent six years at St Mary’s College before moving to St Josephs, where I’ve been for the last three years. Now obviously I’ve made my way over to Fairholme which I’m really excited about.’ It was both the College’s reputation and the scope of the role that drew Mitch to Fairholme. ‘Fairholme is a very prestigious college, it’s got a great name and reputation,’ he said. ‘The role itself is really exciting for me. I’ve got a passion for fitness and particularly looking after the wellbeing of young girls, whether that be on the sporting field or with their social aspect, academics, just all round developing good girls on and off the court.’ A strong advocate for pastoral care, Mitch brings valuable leadership experience to the position. ‘I did a Head of House role at St Mary’s for three and a half years, so pastoral care has always been my calling so it’s great to tie in the sporting aspect as well as wellbeing,’ he explained. His philosophy centres on the connection between student wellbeing and performance. ‘It’s all dependant on each other. If we’ve got girls who are happy and their wellbeing is flourishing, then they are doing well on the sporting field and vice versa too.’ Looking ahead, Mitch is focused on building both excellence and enjoyment within the program. ‘I would love to get participation rates very high. We have a lot of elite athletes here that I want to achieve and do really well, but I also want to work on girls enjoying their training, coming in and having a nice vibe around the sporting field and the training.’ Importantly, Mitch emphasises that success looks different for every student. ‘We’re not all Australian representatives, but if girls are working really hard and achieving to the best of their potential, whatever level that may be in the sporting arena, I think that’s a program we can be very proud of.’ As he begins his journey at Fairholme, Mitch is eager to connect with the community. ‘I’m really excited to be a part of Fairholme, it is a great opportunity. The staff and the students have been fantastic to me so far, but as the weeks go on, I’m really looking forward to getting to know the girls and building some relationships from there.’ We warmly welcome Mitch to Fairholme and look forward to the energy, care, and expertise he will bring to our High Performance Sports program.

Meet 2026 Prefect for Sport: Scarlett Sippel

March 4, 2026
What inspired you to apply for the Prefect for Sport position? I was inspired to go for this position as I have seen the passion that Fairholme as a community has for sport, and the true love and respect the staff have for athletes at the college. I wanted to work closely with the girls and staff to help progressing sport at Fairholme. Do you have a favourite sport? My favourite sport is touch football. It has given me so very much and I am forever grateful. What has been your proudest sporting moment so far? My proudest sporting moment so far was being fortunate enough to represent my country in the sport I love most. Who has been your biggest influence or role model in sport? My biggest role model in sport has to my parents. They never fail to push me towards things that might seem out of my comfort zone or scary. They constantly support me through everything and influence me to be the best version of myself on and off the field. What are you hoping to achieve this year as Prefect for Sport? I aim to inspire everyone to just have a go. By the end of my final year at Fairholme I hope I can inspire people to just get o ut of their comfort zones and try something new. What advice would you give your Year 7 self? I would tell my Year 7 self that in the big picture no one is going to judge you for trying your hardest and giving things ago! And not to put too much pressure on yourself! Do you hope to pursue sport after school? I wish to continue to play sport at a high level after school. whether that is through touch or rugby. Sport is a very important part of my life that will hopefully continue well after I leave school.

Meet 2026 Prefect for The Arts: Claire Murphy

March 4, 2026
How long have you been involved in The Arts at Fairholme? Since I began here in Year 7, but before then I started playing piano and violin in Year 5. I have participated in a number of ensembles within the school and greatly enjoyed each of these. What does being the Prefect for The Arts mean to you? Personally, I think that being the Prefect for The Arts is primarily a role in which I can help to support other girls. I’m a designated person that girls can come to if they have any questions or concerns with anything regarding extracurricular artistic involvement, and I do a little to help with running some of the artistic aspects around the school, such as finding girls to volunteer for busking at events. But mostly, I think it is about being a positive promoter for the arts, and encouraging other girls to expand their world view to include creativity. Which art form do you enjoy most (e.g. music, drama, visual art, dance etc)? My main art form that I participate in is instrumental music, through my involvement in a few ensembles within the school on violin and piano. However, other art forms, like dancing during March Pasts or singing Shine Jesus Shine are pretty fun too. Do you have a most memorable Arts experience? I think that one of the most memorable Arts experiences that I have had has been at events where I have accompanied my grade, like when all the Year 11’s last year sung at the Valedictorian dinner and I played piano along with other instrumentalists in my grade, Tilly Anderson and Emma Salter. However, I think the most enjoyable Arts experience that I have had is playing Jingle Bell Rock at the boarding Christmas dinner last year, when the rest of my cohort stood around the piano singing. I felt that this was one of those excellent examples of how music can bring people together. What advice would you give to students who might be nervous about joining an arts activity? I would say that it is always worth giving something new a go. You’re much more likely to regret the chances you never took than the ones you do. I’m a strong believer that being involved in any form of extra-curricular activity is so beneficial for everyone; it expands your world view, you meet new people, and get outside your comfort zone. Each individual has something they are good at, and how are you going to find out what that is if you don’t try? Do you hope to continue with The Arts after school? Definitely. It has become such a big part of my life, and I honestly get so much enjoyment out of it. The great thing about the arts is that they are things that you can do at any time of your life. You’re never too old, that’s a skill you have for life. Other people can also get so much enjoyment out of the artistic abilities of others. Who doesn’t love to have someone who can sit around the camp-fire and play guitar, or create a beautiful piece of artwork?
All News